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My Celebrity Ex-Boyfriend: Jack White

Ewww.I was willing to get over the whole Renée Zellweger thing. I know how it is with actors, even when they're not actually actors: You're on an isolated movie set, everyone's dredging up powerful memories in order to emote on cue, sometimes there are sexy period costumes... Things happen. I thought we could work through it. I thought, maybe, it might even make our pretend relationship stronger.

But, Jack, you really should wash your hair when you're trying to prove, in court, that you're not a creepy psycho. If you can't figure that out, I just don't think there's a future for us. And, seriously, I know you're a rock star, and I'm willing to make allowances for that, but I really need a man who bathes.

PROPS TO UNCLE GRAMBO FOR THE PHOTO

January 20, 2004 | Permalink

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