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Third Anniversary

Today is my third anniversary. My gift for Ted is something I made myself: a plastic mesh bag for holding little pieces of soap. This will allow him to use up the tiny slivers of Irish Spring and Lever 2000 accumulate in the shower because he can’t stand the waste of just tossing them. I have every confidence that Ted is going to be delighted with this gift.

It would be wrong to say that Ted’s sense of thrift is one of the things I initially found attractive about him, but it is one of the reasons I married him. I believe that love and sex are vital parts of a good relationship, but those things are easy—I mean, idiot teens can manage that much—but the successful day-to-day operation of long-term monogamy requires more than passion. I knew before I got married that I really should be with someone who is responsible about money, because if I married someone with my own spendthrift ways, we would be broke all the time. This might seem cold and calculating, but I figured that it would be impossible to sustain even the most feverish passion in a climate of chronic fiscal misery.

Ted and I have a lot in common—a fondness for murder ballads and Thai food, antipathy towards Republicans and baby gear featuring licensed characters—but the things we don’t have in common are, I think, just as important to our marriage. We complement each other. We help each other and balance each other out. We’re stronger together than we are apart.

Ted and I have known each other for awhile now. We’re both in our late 30s. We just had a baby. Anyone familiar with two out of three of these phenomena will understand the ways in which our relationship does not currently resemble what we had when we first started dating. I may occasionally heave a little sigh for those carefree days, but, given the chance, I wouldn’t trade what we have now for what we had then. We have a daughter now, of course, but I also like our union better the more we keep working at it. I think that Ted and I are both better people today than we were three years ago, and I know that I love him even more than I did on the day that I married him.

Happy anniversary, babe.

June 25, 2007 | Permalink

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