An Open Letter to Anyone with a Time Machine, or Some Other Means of Traveling Through Time

Dear Time Traveler,

Recently, I found it necessary to remove both Pee-Wee Herman and Duran Duran from my Facebook news feed. Both posted just way too much, and nothing they had to say was ever interesting. It has occurred to me, though, that my 14-year-old self would be horrified to learn that her 40-year-old self would show such callous disloyalty to Pee-Wee Herman, much less Duran Duran.

So, should you find yourself in northeastern Ohio in 1984, and should you find a teen girl who looks pretty much like me but with asymmetrical hair and a bigger shirt, please do not tell her that I have removed Pee-Wee Herman and Duran Duran from my Facebook feed. I don’t expect that this will be a problem—I mean, it’s not like you want to waste all your in-the-past time trying to explain Facebook in the first place, right?

Thanks,

Jessica

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An Open Letter to Anyone with a Time Machine, or Some Other Means of Traveling Through Time

Dear Time Traveler,

Recently, I found it necessary to remove both Pee-Wee Herman and Duran Duran from my Facebook news feed. Both posted just way too much, and nothing they had to say was ever interesting. It has occurred to me, though, that my 14-year-old self would be horrified to learn that her 40-year-old self would show such callous disloyalty to Pee-Wee Herman, much less Duran Duran.

So, should you find yourself in northeastern Ohio in 1984, and should you find a teen girl who looks pretty much like me but with asymmetrical hair and a bigger shirt, please do not tell her that I have removed Pee-Wee Herman and Duran Duran from my Facebook feed. I don’t expect that this will be a problem—I mean, it’s not like you want to waste all your in-the-past time trying to explain Facebook in the first place, right?

Thanks,

Jessica